Punting and a grape shoot-out - a day in Cambridge!

Zhao, George and myself decided to escape the metropolis last Saturday in favour of some punting exploits with Tom Conlon (Zhao's former university housemate/workmate/dating adviser) who comes from Cambridge and was more than happy to show us around...

Great fun it was, although it has to be said, things didn't go entirely to plan!

Just after this photo was taken, I was unfortunate enough to be hit by a flying pint of beer, which soaked my hair, my clothes, and my seat in our delightful punt... a bunch of chavs decided to try and ruin our day, throwing beer at us from their vantage point on a bridge... and most of it fell on me! Serves me right for pulling such a cheesy grin at the camera...

I should add I was fortunate that the pint was lobbed in a plastic cup.











Only a few moments before, I'd managed to get myself hit on the head by a punting rod which was being bandied around by a white-haired old man. From then on, believing myself momentarily cursed, I took extra care while crossing the road, sitting at the side of the river, and indeed, while standing up punting on the back of the vessel itself.

Luckily, the rest of the day passed without major incident. Unless you count starting a new grape shoot-out craze that is...












Moored illegally by the side of the river we were, listening to student punters telling the same stories to their passengers as they punted by, when we decided to inject a little competition into our picnic.
We had so many grapes that we didn't know what to do with them all. Tom threw a couple up in the air. The first bounced unluckily off his lip. The other landed satisfyingly in his gob. This would form the basis of our duels.

Based on a sudden-death penalty shoot out, we sat in a row at the side of the river and took it in turns to throw the grapes up in the air, finding ourselves disqualified if the grape should land awry.

















This was a contest of intense pressure - not least because of the other punters watching our keen attempts as they drifted by. Tom made a good start, winning the first few duels. Zhao suddenly hit form though, until a remarkable overthrow and a last minute adjustment ended with his grape hitting him on the forehead, with the rest of us unable to participate due to hilarious giggling.

















George showed a few good touches, but was nothing special. I was somewhere in between.

The joy of the contest was not in winning (or laughing at remarkable overthrows), rather it was in playing the game itself.


















Another moment of personal pain (following the beer soaking and punt-stick knock on my head) was suffered by Tom this time, as an attractive girl on another punt shouted a random heckle in his direction as he struggled to direct our punt.

"You should have gone to Specsavers!" She cried. Tom cried too. He recovered after a swift pint or two though.

Punting is actually quite hard work, I've realised. It wasn't so much getting the power, but more, it was directing the darn thing. I'd consider punting on a date, if I wasn't so amateurish with stick in hand (Did that come out right?).
















For some people though, going out and punting while under bombardment from chavs with pints isn't enough risk for one weekend. Witness Tom and Zhao's train dodging antics on the morning of the punt. They may have escaped with their lives, but they did not escape with their dignity, or George's respect. (I had not yet arrived to lose respect for them, but did so swiftly in retrospect, once I saw the snaps).


















Zhao was on a one-man mission to ridicule himself over the weekend, and won that particular competition with these crazy antics shown below -

















And further added to his cause by drawing me into a newspaper fight on the train home (we hit each other with battered copies of the Guardian and Independent...)

He then fell fast asleep. He's a quirky old man now, we think, and took until Tuesday to fully recover. Take a look...














*